Rebellion and Intervention

When your teen rebels, know where and when to seek help

Determining when and how to intervene is often unclear, leaving parents with a myriad of questions and no straightforward answers. However, I'll begin by offering two suggestions in response to the common query about handling a situation when your teenager seems to be out of control.

Initially, it's crucial to seek assistance sooner rather than later. Parents frequently delay, anticipating that the issue will resolve itself. While some situations may improve independently, others may worsen over time. You don't necessarily have to turn to a therapist at the first sign of trouble, but reaching out is essential. If the initial support effectively tackles the situation, that's excellent. However, if it falls short, consider seeking assistance at a higher level.

Secondly, seek assistance when your teenager's behavior exhibits one or more of the following characteristics:

Intense enough and on the verge of dangerous
Marked by enough major behavioral and personality changes that can't be otherwise defined
Disruptive enough to everyday routine that he or she isn't operating as he or she normally can

I want to underscore the significance of each of these three statements, recognizing that "concerned" is a highly subjective term. If you find yourself worried and uncertain about your ability to address the issue, it's essential to seek help.

This brings us to perhaps the most challenging question: "Will my son (or daughter) ever turn things around? What are the chances?" When parents pose this question, it's not a mere request for statistical data; it's a heartfelt plea for hope.

My response is always honest: "I don't know." However, I follow it with what I do know:

It's not your fault.
Your teenager has made their own choices, driven by known or unknown reasons.
The effort, time, and intervention you've invested in your teenager enhance the likelihood of a positive change.
God transcends these challenges. While it may sound like a cliché, there's no room for clichés when your teenager is on a self-destructive path. I genuinely mean that God is greater. Yes, your teenager may make unwise choices, but God cares about their life and salvation. He sees, knows, and surpasses all the foolish decisions, risky behaviors, and pain.

If your teen is engaged in at-risk behaviors, refer to our list of links that offer encouragement and resources during this challenging season.